dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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