did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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