I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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