You really coming over, don't trick.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
