Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
