I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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