Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
