Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
