white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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