I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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