cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
