By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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