ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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