Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
