what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
