Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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