The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
