you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
