I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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