pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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