Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
