I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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