After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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