Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Send help, water and tortillas.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
