make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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