It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we made out on top of his cat.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
