she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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