I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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