I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Randomize
