Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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