i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Welp...herpes.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
