I am puke
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I love having hate sex.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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