So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
