I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
