I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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