And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
All I want is dick and wine.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
