tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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