sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
