Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
