What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
