Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
