hotel room ftw
thus making me awesome and them whores
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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