I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
