I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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