Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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