hotel room ftw
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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