is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
