i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
