my vag is so smooth its legendary
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
