sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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